Tuesday, January 17, 2006

When They're Gone

Joon Win left Melbourne for home today. I really wanted to see him off, but I was at work. The night before, I said a light-hearted and funny good-bye to him. But the light-heartedness was actually just a facade. Beneath all those dumb-ass gay jokes, there was some sadness within me. That was when I realised how dear this little friend of mine actually is to me. After spending so much time together searching for an apartment, playing Risk, hanging out, talking about morals, religion and hot ladies, his absence seems to make life less fun an exciting.

These are the times when I realize how much someone means to my existence, which strengthens the cliched but truthful statement "You never appreciate what you've got til you loose it". After today, there is just no denying it- I never appreciate how important my friends or family is to my life til I loose them. Joon Win is just the latest of such an occurance. Before that, there were others like Cindy, Kel, Shar, Am, Jel. Oh man, when Jel left, that was some tough shit I went through. I literally was at the brink of tears for the first two weeks. But Jel, if you are reading this, you know that I know how important you are to me.

However, as for a couple of other friends, I believe that I can show more appreciation than what I am showing now. The thing is, I think that my true appreciation for friends can be shown in their times of needs instead of giving them pleasant gifts, hugging them everytime I see them, not hurting their feelings and other such activities that I deem as a superficial expression of friendship. I know of many who are huggie and lovie, but in times of need, they just don't seem to be there for you or they just aren't competent enough to help you. The sad thing is, a lot of people today only seem to have eyes for the latter expression of friendship. Very few see a friend in someone who is critical and brutally honest. Because of this, I guess I should conform a little and drop people a card or two to show my appreciation. But I will retain what I think is a true expression of friendship: the willingness to pull a friend up when he or she is down, whether he or she likes it or not.